School, Society, Anxiety, and Forgiveness

This is what I saw yesterday pop up on my phone in the middle of the day:

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This was from my oldest son, who was able to text me what was going on at school the other day. Luckily there was no bomb found, but the damage had been done. He, along with his classmates, were scared to death. He hates going to school to begin with, but now you add the insecurity of his safety and he is done.

As a parent, it is just another reason why I consider homeschooling my kids. I do not agree with the way our kids are being taught in the current education system. I hate that our schools have become targets of people who are so wicked that they attack innocent children and unarmed areas. Lastly, I am tired of our government jerking around our teachers!

The anxiety we feel isn’t just because we have a lot to do, it’s also because there is this little voice if fear always lurking in the back of our minds. Fear of some deranged individual coming in unannounced and hurting our kids. Fear of a terrorist attack and we can’t get to our kids. It’s absurd. I know how I feel as a parent sending my kid to school, I could not imagine what it would be like as a student. Worrying about studying, grades, tests, CRCT’s, socializing, enjoying being a kid, sports, church, family time, living up to expectations, and being scared of getting hurt.

If adults were to deal with this much stress on a daily basis, we would go nuts. It’s no wonder that pre-teens and teenagers are being diagnosed with anxiety disorders at such a high rate. The pressure is insane. I work hard not to baby my oldest… He needs to know how to function in society, but at this rate our society seems so unpredictable and evil, I don’t know when he will be ready to handle it.

I am a frustrated and angry Mama right now. Some punk threatened my kid and many others. I can’t help but be mad. The logical side of me tells me not to be angry, but to pray for the person who instilled an unnecessary fear in my child. It tells me that this particular person needs to be loved and accepted for who he/she is. It tells me that this person is hurting and needs help. Logic tells me that this was a cry for help. My emotions and logic are battling right now. I am working hard at replacing my anger with compassion.

I am not sure if he will continue on in the public school system next year or not, but I know I will be in prayer for the answer. He would probably be happier being homeschooled because then he could learn at his own pace and do it without having to be afraid. Then again, if I pull him out does it mean that those who fester fear win?

Today we remember Good Friday. The day my Lord and savior, Jesus, died on the cross for our sins. As I wrote that last sentence, it hit me… He died for our sins. All of us. Guess that means if I am forgiven then I am going to have to forgive the little punk. Durn. Makes staying mad hard. It’s not logic or emotions that will get me through this feeling of frustration. It’s faith. It’s always faith.

John 10:10 reads: The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.

Psalm 34:3 reads: I sought the Lord, and he answered me, and delivered me from all my fears.

Jesus came to give us life and be the light in this dark world. My faith in Him is what calms my fear. I just have to remember to go to him whenever I begin to feel angry or anxious.